They only love you when you do what they want you to do

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So back again for another brain dump, rant, rave, or in general, another writing that I hope someone can relate to. Hopefully, you can feel what I'm trying to get across in the title of this article. At times not always exclusively, and mostly from people who don't even know you. People around you will only love you when you do, or are doing what they want, or think that you should do. They only appreciate showing love or giving love when you're living your life the way they think you should live your life. So, where did this idea come from? I recently had a conversation with one of my friends where I laid out my argument for this article that I was thinking of writing. I gave the person the title (see above) and why I felt this way. But before I get into the entire conversation or my argument as to why I feel like this. I must offer some context. You see, in my personal life, I feel like I'm going through a storm at the moment. Maybe not a hurricane or monsoon (even though at times it feels like that) but a real bad rainstorm. The kind that when you are driving and have the windshield wipers all of the way up to high, and it still isn't enough to clear the rain away fast enough. That kind of storm. The kind of storm where you might see other cars whose drivers aren't as good as others pulling over or driving extremely slow with their flashers on. You might ask why I'm relating this storm to driving. Well, the answer to that is easy. Yes, to toot my own horn (pun intended), I'm a great driver! I've been doing it since I was 11 or 12. Because my family owned a farm in Pennslyvania, I've been driving small tractors, cars, trucks, go-karts, homemade motorized vehicles, dirt, and motorbikes for as long as I can remember. I used to pray to get to be 16 just so that I could drive legally. When I took my driving test, I took my best friends with me to the test because I was so sure that I would pass it on the first time and drive everyone home. I was just really, really into driving. Even now, in my life, depending on the car and the route, I can get into a car and just drive for what feels like forever! But I digress, and I'm getting slightly off of the topic at hand. I just wanted to add a bit more insight into the complexities of myself. In any event, the storm that I described above is the kind of storm that I'm going through. And going through this storm gives a person a lot of time to be in deep thought. I often find myself daydreaming and thinking about all of the wonders of life. How it started, where it's going. You know all of those deep thought questions that run through all of our minds at one time or another. And while sitting and thinking, I concluded that "People only love you when you do what they want you to do." Totally unrelated to my situation in the conversation spoken about at the beginning of this writing. I said to my friend the statement of the writing and brought up Kanye West. I said that as soon as he started making music that people didn't appreciate immediately, people started talking bad about him. Saying how he didn't have it anymore. Or that he had too many yes people around him. And while it is true, according to numbers in sales, he didn't achieve the success in his later works that he did in his initial offerings. I was still feeling a lot of his work. In my opinion, which isn't necessarily the most popular one, I heard the evolution in his music. There were still samples to the music, but getting samples and using them was different now. It was like he was layering music. Instead of crafting a song, he was crafting a tapestry or an article of clothing. Something that had multiple facets to it. Like a 3-D song but minus the other two dimensions. I know, I know. It's weird but hey, guess what? I appreciated it. So this is the same information that I offered in the conversation between my friend and me. The person then proceeded to say. "Yeah, but then there's his support of Donald Trump." To that statement, I said, "Thank you!" In a puzzled look, the person looked at me and said, "Thank you? Why do you say thank you?" And my reply was. "You proved my point." How might you ask, as did my friend? Easy. My friend took a conversation about music and entertainment and turned it into something completely different. You see, my friend looked past my argument about what this man's music was like now and instead turned it to his personal life. Where the friend proved my point... "They only love you when you do what they want you to do." First of all, anytime a person says... "Yeah, but" you know the conversation now has the potential to turn into a friendly argument. Yeah, but it is the same as when a person says, "No offense, but," and then immediately goes on to offend you or the person they are talking to. That's where our conversation was going. You see, my friend could take or leave the music, but because he supports someone that my friend doesn't like, the friend is iffy on Kanye's entertainment offerings. While I don't particularly care for Donald Trump or the antics that he cast on the world for four years. I'm not a person that's going to "cancel" or get mad at another person for their personal decision to back him. Again just in my humble opinion, "cancel culture" is just a form of bullying. Here's a brief example. Remember when you were in school, and you made an interesting fashion decision. You know you wanted to wear something that you considered unique. And other kids laughed at your choice because it may have been not cool or could be considered dorky. And so, you might have gotten teased for your fashion decision. Or even "canceled." Wasn't that a form of bullying? Just because a person doesn't want to go on with every trend doesn't mean that they should be shunned from society. It's the immature mind that can't take time to see someone's differences as part of another person's uniqueness and beauty. What makes us different is what makes us unique. If we were all the same and had the same opinions, please believe me life would be so so so boring! The question that I always ask myself when it comes to if I'm out on a person (a person that I don't even personally know, by the way) or not is this. Is this person's stance affecting me or my life in a personal way? Is this person's decision to do what I disagree with going to hurt me physically or mentally? In most cases, the answer is almost always no. The second question that I ask is, is this person's stance affecting others in a way that is physically or mentally harmful. And for the sake of argument, I'll give an example here too. Let's say that a person's stance is that human slavery, both sexual and economic, should be legal and at all costs. That example would be a stance where I'm out on that person if this is what the person supports. Racism, sexism, genderism, all of the prejudice ism's are not what I'm talking about. The real show for lack of decency towards other living beings is a non-negotiable for me. We all too often label non-issues as such just because of our lack of understanding. We are often so quick to judge, be it right or wrong, that we don't consider all cases and scenarios. You see, for me, it has to do with more than just a person being mean to the public. Or having an unpopular opinion on certain events. Or a person not doing what I think they should do. For me, human rights have to be violated in some way. So while that might be extreme, that is the scale on which I judge. My last point to make in this writing is this. In all of my writing/editorials/blogs/ public journal entries or whatever you'd like to call these. I'm not in the business of changing your mind. My goal in these writings is to let people know that there is a difference of opinion at times. And to me, that is just ok. Getting to know what other people think outside of oneself is what can truly make us grow and understand each other better throughout life. That's is all for now. And please remember and think. Don't just love those around you only when that person is doing what you want or think that they should do. Love them no matter what they do. Because to do what's right, sometimes we just need the love and support from those that love us no matter what. Sevy


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